Friday, 26 February 2016

Turning 40

A month ago I turned 40.  I have started to get my head round it now and my birthday celebrations are all over so I thought it was about time I shared what I got up to and how I feel about being 40.




I was a really lucky girl.  Can I still refer to myself as a girl now I am 40?!  That gives you some indication of the thought processes that have been taking place in my head recently.  I had pre-birthday celebrations consisting of a meal out with friends including a few surprise visitors Gray had sneakily organised.  I then celebrated my actual birthday with my family with a meal out and lots of cake.  Cake that for once was not made by me I should add!  Finally I spent the weekend in a beautiful country house in the middle of nowhere with some of my favourite people and Gray also surprised me by sending along all the chocolate and some pink fizz.  I got lots of wonderful pressies and cards including the most beautifully simple Orla Kiely bags and a wallet and this awesome Orla Kiely back pack.  I know lots of good people with good taste it seems!  I was well and truly spoilt and it felt wonderful.  As a person who doesn't like being centre of attention it was a little over whelming how much trouble those close to me had gone to.  Spending time with those dearest to me was the best part of my birthday, it was a big one so people made more effort than usual and it felt special.

The worst bit was actually turning 40.  Before you tell me 40 is not that old or you don't look 40 anyway, save it!  I know I am lucky not to look my age but that doesn't mean I don't feel my age or have any less sense of my inevitable demise!!  I remember being a kid and my Dad turning 40, it just seemed so old to a then 13 year old me.  Kids will be looking at me like that thinking I am really bloody old, hell I think I am really bloody old.  If all goes to plan I have most likely lived over half of my life which brings everything into perspective and makes you question the choices you have made up to now.  From about nine months prior to my 40th I became really self-aware.  I wanted to stop the clock and make time stand still.  I didn't want to be 40, I wasn't ready for it and wallowed in my misery by mourning my youth.  I don't feel like an adult.  I am not sure I even really know how to adult.  I fought it for as long as I could and then decided that I needed to get on with it.

While I still couldn't accept it was happening I realised I couldn't stop it so took action and decided I could use it to spur on some positive changes.  I lost weight and got fitter than I have been for most of my adult life.  I managed to lose two and a half stone by the time I turned 40 and would like to lose another seven pounds or so.  Believe me it is true that losing weight as you get older is so much harder, younger Sarah was a fool not to take action sooner.  I eat much better food than I used to though given the choice I would probably still eat like a child.  I spend more quality time with Gray which is awesome for my well-being, I don't like it when we don't make time to do the simple things like just go for a walk and chat without any distractions.  I have spent time learning what makes me happy and content then making sure I spend my time wisely.  I don't have enough time to spend with those I adore so I am damned if I am going to give up any time to those not worthy of it.  I make sure I have enough time for my hobbies and regularly remind myself they are just that, my hobby.  I am passed caring what people think about me sewing hundreds of the same dress pattern.  I sew them for me, not you and it makes me happy.

The good thing about getting older is I am more comfortable in my own skin.  I pretty much know all I need to know about myself and I'm happy with how I have turned out.  I don't need validation from my peers and I mostly do not care what people think about me.  That is truly liberating.  Twenty year old me would be mega jealous of how sorted I am, she was a lost soul who just wanted to be accepted.  While I was writing this post Lucky Man by The Verve was playing in my headphones and I can't think of a more apt song to have as a soundtrack.  I've certainly found my inner peace and happiness and with that in mind I am ignoring the number that is hanging around in that dark cloud waiting to rain on my parade and am getting on with making this next decade my best yet.

This article is pretty wonderful, it's worth a read.

♥♥♥

17 comments:

  1. literally all the love for you! xxxx

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  2. Aww this is a lovely post, and it's great to be so happy at where you are it. I think it's best not to go through life regretting things, or living your life by your age, it's the small things that matter and enjoying every day! So BIG Happy Birthday for last month, can look forward to 50 now ;)

    Caroline xx

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    1. Caroline, what are you trying to do to me!? Mentioning the 5-0... not got over the 4-0 yet!! haha

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  3. I can TOTALLY understand your feeling like that about turning 40, it is one of those ages that FEELS old!!! I'm glad you had a great celebration and I sincerely hope the years continue successfully!x

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    1. I'm glad you understand Kezzie, it does feel bloody old!

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  4. Sarah, so lovely to see you back. I think you are so refreshing and different from the other sewing blogs that are a round. Be yourself and so what if you sew 500 dresses or any number, it's what you want that's important, forget the negative comments from certain quarters about your dresses. Your blog is the best and it''s about you not just your sewing.
    Rosie xx
    PS Turning 40 is not so bad, wait until your as old as me, i turn 65 on Mar 21st but feel 21 inside.

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    1. Thanks Rosie and thank you for your email, I trust you got my reply? Thank you for your lovely words. I think what sets me apart from sewing blogs is my blog isn't actually a sewing blog, it's a personal style blog but I just happen to sew my own dresses now. Happy birthday for 21st March, I hope 65 means you get to retire and enjoy some free time :)

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  5. I'm so glad you had such a good Birthday, and celebrations for it. How lovely to feel like that, I'm hoping when I get to that age I can feel the same.
    Lots of love and (More) Birthday wishes xx
    Love Stephanie Dreams

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    1. For me contentment and feeling comfortable in my own skin defo came with age, hope that's the case for you too Steph.

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  6. I am 43 and still feel 23. People say I look in my 30's and for that I feel great however I felt all the things you are feeling. I still wear skirts above the knee and have really long hair (down to my waist)! All the things once you are over 40 you should'nt do/have! I don't care I look younger so I dress younger. I thought turning 30 was a lot worse than turning 40! Happy birthday to you x

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    1. Ah really, 30 didn't phase me at all. Yeah it's defo not about how you look but how you feel which is harder to explain.

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  7. Ha! I love that you use the same pattern over and over. You may sew the same dress pattern but by changing one aspect every time you are not sewing the same dress. And that is fascinating.

    Happy Birthday. I am 47 and any time I wobble about ageing I remember some quote that says something to the effect of - be grateful for growing old(er) because not everyone has the choice.

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    1. This is how I feel about it! Each dress is totally different in my eyes, haha.

      Yes that is totally true, very grateful to be able to moan about turning 40 - lots do not get the chance.

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  8. Sending you lots of belated birthday love! I'm turning 30 in a few weeks and, although I'm not feeling too daunted by it, it is scary how fast the time goes (and will no doubt continue to go). I think it's good for all of us to remember now and again that we need to enjoy our lives right now and make the absolute most of our time! Sounds like you have a brilliant attitude (and you've done amazingly well with the fitness!)

    Liz x
    Distract Me Now Please

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I love comments, thank you for making me smile xx

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